*Blog note: You can now sign up to get updates by e-mail.  Just submit your e-mail in the form on the right hand side.  It only sends during a set hour of the day, which I'm trying to see if I can change.  Until I do, don't worry.  You'll get the update, it just may not be when you expect it.*

Ok, let's see here.  I'm barely scraping by financially.  The car has issues (though nothing major yet).  My current project needs a major overhaul.  Neither of my sports teams are giving me much to cheer about right now.  I'm getting rejection after rejection.  I've got a cricket in my wall that's making it hard to sleep.  I'm pretty well stressed out.....

..... someone want to explain why I'm bouncing in joy like I just won the super bowl?

I mean, really.  What's up with that?  By all accounts I should be having a nervous breakdown by now.  I should be punching holes in walls, or sobbing, or just going numb.  So way aren't I?  What's wrong with me?  Maybe nothing.  It's something I've come to realize over my years.  Just because the world is ending doesn't mean the world has to, you know, end.  Life does go on.  But still, where's the joy coming from?

I'll skip the religious opinion out of respect.  This isn't church.  It's an author's blog. :)  Though I do think one part of it is helping.  My religion calls on me to keep the sabbath holy.  Meaning we are meant to rest on it.  Religion aside, I think that's a good idea anyway.  Every semester of college, I made it a point to take one class I expected to be fun.  I did that to ensure I didn't get burnt out by all the hard work that was needed.  In that same spirit, taking a day off every week let's me relax, unwind, and recover from everything else.  For one day a week I get to breath, or scream, as the case can sometimes be.  Pointless?  Maybe.  But then again, see the above and ask yourself; you so sure about that?

Then there's the little things.  The tiny joys.  Remember my last post about the priceless moments?  Now I point out the every day ones.  Every day I have time, I spend some on an online game. "*Gasp* You play World of Warcraft.  I knew it!"  Lol, no.  I play Perfect World instead.  Only after a long day's work writing though.  Or for few minutes between when I need to get my head out of my made-up worlds for a while.  Every writer has our distractions we run to when we need them.  Some go hiking, do yard work, watch TV, play with the pets.  I play an online game.  We need it to come down from our wrestling match with the story, the inner writer, and the many voices telling us what's wrong with it.

There's also the timeless truth my mother once mentioned that I took to heart.  "After a while, there comes a point where you can either laugh, or cry.  I choose to laugh."  Think about that for a moment.  Re-read my list of problems.  Now add something else.  Just pick any random disaster, and toss it on there.  Imagine I'm telling you about all this, and then a minute later, while talking with someone else where you know I can't hear or see you, they tell you about another random disaster that just hit me.  You're smiling aren't you?  Come on now.  Even for that initial split second, you can't help but lift the corners of your mouth thinking, "Sheesh.  What next?"  I wouldn't blame you.  Mostly because I'm more than likely on my knees laughing in the next room.

I think I lost my point somewhere along the way.  Or did I?  Isn't the point that it doesn't make sense why I'm feeling so good despite everything?  Didn't I just explain why?  I didn't?  Huh.  Guess I don't know either.  Bah, who cares?!  I'm pretty sure that pop I just heard was the car tire blowing up.  Or maybe the stove exploded.  Look on the bright side.  At least I'll know what to talk about next post.

If you weren't smiling before, I bet you are now.

SEE?!  Told ya, told ya!

*Blog Note: Yes, I'm sorry, I know I'm late.  Had some issues.  Still learning the in's and out's of this website.  Again, so sorry for the late post.*

Monday, October 27, 2003

Wildfires are devastating much of Southern California.  Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego is being used as an evacuation center.  The San Diego Chargers have to move their Monday night game to Tempe Arizona.  And my parents?  They took me out of school for two days to be there to see them play.

WAIT!  DON'T RUN!  This isn't about sports, honest.

Though I must admit, as I write this it always feels... uncomfortable bordering on wrong.  A lot of lives were disrupted that day.  Homes were destroyed.  Yet I look back on this exact date rather fondly.   It's a lot like how I feel when I talk about 9/11.  It never feels right to feel any kind of real joy in relation to such a tragic event.  Yet what came of 9/11, for me at least, and what happened back in October of 2003, are things in my life I consider highlights.  I guess I just want to make sure no one thinks I'm saying I don't care about the many lives that were affected.  I do.  I care a lot.  But, and I cannot make this sentence read right, I also feel these events are worth sharing.  They are a part of me.  I can't hide them.  No one could.  I'm not sure they should.

Perhaps my parents knew that.  I never really asked them for a detailed reasoning for what they did that weekend.  I just know they said we were going to Arizona to see the Chargers play.  They said it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience they knew we'd remember forever.  And they were absolutely right.  Tickets weren't sold.  All you did was show up at the gate, tell them the size of your party, and you were in.  So we got a few crazies, and other...... interesting characters.

Five field runners, okay, that's common.  But the fans were not used to football.  The people there didn't seem to know what to do with "We will Rock You".  Some looked at us like we were nuts when we clapped along with it.  Most had no clue about any of the cheers that were done.  We had to explain to a couple sitting behind us why one field goal got three points, but others got only one.

Now for the record, that last one I can easily understand.  You go to what may be the first football game you've EVER seen.  It's a simple concept to the basic fan, but to those outside the game, it can be a little confusing.  However, the part I'll always remember, is when someone behind us asked why they switched sides of the field at every quarter.  It's the kind of basic sports tradition I thought everyone had seen.  Then again, apparently not.

Now, before you yell "bad parenting", they made it clear I had to not let it affect my grades or my homework.  We did homework Sunday night before, and Monday night after.  So we did not just diss off school.  Nor did we miss out on something that will stick with me forever.  My parents understood that.  They knew it'd be one of those priceless moments that we may never see again.  And as I think back I wonder, how many would ignore the timeless experience, and just latch onto the "You took them out of school for FOOTBALL?!"

Okay, if you ask my mom, football is more important anyway.  (Just kidding, really.)  But seriously, two days.  No tests.  No exact, crucial things going on.  We were, on pain of death, expected to keep up.  And we got to see something truly special.

I don't know, maybe I'm weird.  I just think that every now and then, we need to step away from the desk and do something we'll remember.  I wish for the life of me I'd saved the ticket from that game.  I thought I did, but it vanished some years ago.  The memories never have, nor will they ever.  I look back, I remember, and it's something so unique, so one-of-a-kind, I can't understand why people don't do it more often.

Just look at the picture with me and Istas at the head of today's post.  That was something special too.  (Check out "Not My Wolf" under the "Author" tab above to get the story.)  These are the moments that shape us.  That make life worth living.  I'd been trading e-mails with a certain author for some time, then finally got the chance to meet her!  It's been a fond friendship ever since.  It's these little things, these priceless moments, that keep us going.  Even when the whole world seems to be coming down around our ears.

What about you?  Have you had some priceless moments that were worth missing a day of work, or four hours in the car, or some other small sacrifice to experience something that may never come again?

Aren't you glad you did?