I was spending time with a friend the other day.  We were enjoying the company, talking about this and that, at least when I wasn't getting lessons on my strokes.

"Strokes?"

Oh yeah, I'm finally learning how to swim.  I know, at my age, what took so long, right?  That's another post entirely.

Anyway, the conversation touched on regrets, and I realized, I can't think of any.

Since then I've tried, and I still can't come up with any true regrets.  A couple of minor "I wish I hadn't bought that trinket" kind of things that barely count.  A part of me has even expressed a desire to have learned how to swim at a much younger age.  Would have made so many swim parties so much more enjoyable.

Then again, some of those failed purchases also don't quite count, because they stand as reminders for me to be careful.  The things I buy are not guaranteed to be what I expected, or even to last.  Because of those bad buys, I've learned to be more selective, and to really, truly THINK about why I want something.  Many other not-so-good decisions do the same.  As for swimming, I did all right without it, and who knows what it allowed me to do or kept me from doing that were for the best.

In this way, other things that come to mind are more curiosities than real regrets.  Choices that changed how things went in my life.  For example: In high school I had a chance to take a tour on the U.S.S. Nimitz.  For those who don't know, that's one of the U.S. Navy's most famous and prestigious air-craft carriers.  It's one of those ships that, if you're an enemy, you don't want coming your way.  It was also nice timing as I was in the trenches of my early writing.  Remember that sci-fi I mentioned last time?  I was working on it's early incarnation back then.  Since my characters were stationed on a carrier, it was the perfect chance to see what a real one looked like, so that I could adopt some parts for my interstellar version.

However, the day of the trip, a miscommunication on a question I had made me think it was going to be run quite horribly.  Something I wouldn't enjoy or get much out of.  I decided against going.

Since then I've wondered, what if I had gone anyway?  What would it have changed?  Is it better that I didn't go?  Did I miss out on something that would have helped?  I'll never know.  But I'm fine with what happened.  It taught me to be a bit more clear on my questions, and be sure I get the question I'm asking answered.  So in that, it was worth it.

And that's really where my "regrets" fall.  Even with my Kickstarter, I find myself in the same boat.  Should I have not launched it?  I mean, I spent a lot of money to get the word out there about it.  I got nothing from it though.

And yet, I did get something from it.  The art would not have been done, or if it were, not by the same artist most likely.  Would Estrella have come out as amazingly as she did?  It also spurred other conversations that are on the verge of proving amazingly helpful.  I got practice doing readings, and I gotta say, the second one went extremely well.  True I didn't get enough sales to make a difference, but at least I know when the time comes, I'll be okay in that area.  In addition, I've more than doubled my readership here.

So do I regret the effort?  No.  I wonder about it.  Should I have waited?  Could I have done things differently?  I ask in curiosity, but regret?  No.  So far it's all added pieces to what will be in time.  I can't see the final shape yet, but I'd be willing to bet what I learned from the Kickstarter will have an impact.

So if I had to do it again, I don't think I'd change a thing.

I'm curious.  Any of you feel the same way?  I don't need details.  Just wondering if you have things that went not quite according to plan you

Over the last few days, I've gotten a slew of well wishes, pick-me-up messages, and overall voices of concern over the Kickstarter failing.  Some are asking if I'm okay.  Others telling me not to stop trying.  One quoting one of my own character's favorite tag-lines (see image to the left).  I gotta say, it's quite touching.  I mean that.  To have so many expressing their feelings about, well, my feelings, it's nice to see.  So thank you.

There's no cause for alarm though.  This is far from the end.  I've quoted the Last Lecture before, but I'll do so again.  "The walls are there to test how much you want things."

Let's face it, the wall I'm looking at now is a pretty big one.  It doesn't change anything.  I'll find a way around it.  I don't know how yet.  Between a rather aggressive stomach flu and the failed Kickstarter, I decided to take a couple days to find my head, much less screw it back on, before I did anything.  I'm reaching that state now, so hopefully I'll have a game plan by Monday.

And it's not like the work is all for naught.  I still have the commissioned art coming in, so that gives me some options.  "Luna, the Lone Wolf" is finished, or as finished as I can make it.  Work on "Blood of an Alpha" is moving fast.  I have short stories I could fix up, and they might lead to something.  I have a sci-fi that I thought had a final draft, but now realize it needs serious world building help, which means it can only get better.  I have two fantasy stories I haven't delved into (yet).  Then there's the wild card I haven't thought of, whatever that may be.

So really, I cannot say enough how much I appreciate the messages I've been getting.  I also hope you all know, you needn't worry.  The blog will continue for one.  My efforts on getting published will too for another.  That doesn't count the continuing work on "Blood of an Alpha".  "Luna, the Lone Wolf" will be published.  By my original date of September 2015?  Stranger things have happened to me.

Still, thank you.  It means a lot to know I have people who care.  I hope to reward your words of encouragement soon.  For now, I leave you with the same words one of you reminded me of.

"Have a little faith."

Sorry, I couldn't resist.